Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@LittleMissLizz : What’s your weapon of choice in the zombie apocalypse? Mine is a slower person.
@LittleMissLizz: I’m going to replace my uterus with something practical, like a second stomach or a bubble gum machine.
@LittleMissLizz: I’ve been using the Netflix account of an ex for half a decade. We broke up in 2010 & in 2017 I got a text out of nowhere that said, “Do you watch anything that isn’t about death??” No. No I do not.
@LittleMissLizz: My gynecologist sent me a refund check for $18.70. I don’t know what it’s for but I feel like I need to be offended.
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