@LnL245

Her: If someone gave you five dollars would y-
Me: Yes.

@LnL245

*walks into Forever 21*
*gets pulled aside*
Umm, we don’t really mean FOREVER.

@LnL245

A kickboxing class where you hit the bag with a baseball bat because I may have mild to moderate anger issues.

@LnL245

Fixing my grandma’s computer and I see that her search history is about seven various spellings of the name of the last guy I dated.

@LnL245

Ha, I told my brother that carbon had seven protons and he believed me. He was mean to me when we were kids.

@LnL245

M: Um, you just spelled “qwerty” as “querty”.
H: So?
M: Look at the keyboard.
H: And?

M: [Breaking fourth wall look to camera]

@LnL245

I’m in awe of people who can pronounce camaraderie correctly the first, second or tenth time.

@LnL245

Go ahead, criticize my overprotective parenting but no gorillas were shot on my watch.

@LnL245

Hacker 1: She wrote her password recovery questions.
H2: So?
H1: “Fav Law of Thermodynamics?” There’s more than one?
H2: F this. Who’s next?

@LnL245

[Checking in at Comic Con]
Attendant: How long did you spend on your cosplay?
Me: Seven months
A: *Hands me a badge marked “Casual”*