My kids bought a huge bag of flour, yet I don’t see any baking going on…are they waiting for me? They’re waiting for me, aren’t they?
Spent $500 on groceries today. Any minute now, one of my kids will list 10 things I forgot.
Pizza delivery guy just rang my doorbell & I didn’t order pizza. Told him he had wrong house, one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
I thanked my husband for favoriting one of my tweets and he said: ‘Ya that was an accident.’
If you cancel your Twitter account it’s called Twittercide.
If you cancel your Facebook account it’s just called Smart.
‘A 12 year old invented an app….No pressure though.’
(Me to my kids)
Tried to change the song playing on my daughters computer.
She said to me: ‘I’m going to put parental controls on it.’
Me: Did you know avocado improves Brain function?’
Kristen: ‘Mom you eat it all the time and I haven’t seen ANY improvement.’
Found $12 bucks today!
Well, it was in my daughters purse, but I figure she owes me at least $50,000 by now.
I ordered a pair of shoes delivered to my house. I’m too excited to wait at home so I’m camping out at the end of my street. Send snacks?