If happiness is a moving target and I’ve been chasing it all my life, why am I fat?
I just clipped my little toe on patio furniture. Prayers needed for my husband who rearranged everything without telling me.
When people in movies get fired, they all have that one little box with a framed picture on top. You worked there for 17 years, why don’t you have more stuff?
I prefer to dance when someone is watching, you know, in case I need medical attention.
After dieting for a week and losing nothing, I cheated one day and gained a pound. Follow me for more reasons to run into a brick wall head first.
RIP little boat. I can’t think of a more dinghy friend, canoe?
My husband bought me jewelry for Valentine’s day. He doesn’t know it yet, but that was still nice of him.
I’m pretty sure my little brother exists only because I got too old to be my mama’s remote control.
Based on this ideal weight chart, I should be big boned, 3 inches taller, and a man.
No one loses an argument when they’re carrying a chain saw.