@LostFelicia

I just clipped my little toe on patio furniture. Prayers needed for my husband who rearranged everything without telling me.

@LostFelicia

When people in movies get fired, they all have that one little box with a framed picture on top. You worked there for 17 years, why don’t you have more stuff?

@LostFelicia

I prefer to dance when someone is watching, you know, in case I need medical attention.

@LostFelicia

After dieting for a week and losing nothing, I cheated one day and gained a pound. Follow me for more reasons to run into a brick wall head first.

@LostFelicia

RIP little boat. I can’t think of a more dinghy friend, canoe?

@LostFelicia

My husband bought me jewelry for Valentine’s day. He doesn’t know it yet, but that was still nice of him.

@LostFelicia

I’m pretty sure my little brother exists only because I got too old to be my mama’s remote control.

@LostFelicia

Based on this ideal weight chart, I should be big boned, 3 inches taller, and a man.

@LostFelicia

No one loses an argument when they’re carrying a chain saw.

@LostFelicia

The husband has a man cold so I asked if he wanted me to plant a memory garden.