@LoverOfComics94

How to be a politician: 1. Tell people what you’re going to do 2. Don’t do it 3. Change the subject.

@LoverOfComics94

One day she says “Treat me like a princess,” the next she’s pissed that I married her off in exchange for an alliance with Spain. Women…

@LoverOfComics94

In a survival situation, you can drink your own urine. Fortunately, my Wi-Fi came back on just as I was filling the can.