*94K tweets later* I’m really a very private person
I’m fine with the orcas as long as they don’t move into my neighbourhood
Missed garbage day today if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules
You look like somebody ran an uncooked pizza through a washing machine
Fluff me with a fork baby
The valet at the park washroom isn’t wearing pants, should I tip more or less
I don’t wanna last longer in bed, I got post coital jokes.
Maybe the environment should adapt to accommodate our negligence did it ever think about that