@LuvPug
I just ate some leftover mashed potatoes out of my hair, and I don’t even remember having mashed potatoes
@LuvPug
@LuvPug
I don’t know which meme to get my news from today
@LuvPug
I’m voting for whoever my cat thinks I should and my vote counts just as much as yours
@LuvPug
I’m jealous of Eminem because my mom never made me spaghetti
@LuvPug
We all started out as eggs here.
Apparently, some just end up cracking.
@LuvPug
Dr: How are your new pills working?
Me: I cry, eat & want to sleep a lot
Dr: Those are common side effects
Me: Oh. They’re working fine then
@LuvPug
If you have to ask me if I want more cheese I’m just gonna assume you were dropped on your head as an adult.
@LuvPug
Distance doesn’t matter.
You can make someone miserable from anywhere.
@LuvPug
Him: *being flirty* I wish we met when we were young enough to still ruin each other’s lives
Me: *flirting back* I can still ruin your life
@LuvPug
If you lick me, I taste like vodka.
Okay, I taste like a potato, but still…