@MacAnnabella

Every time I delete a selfie, I imagine the sound of a Gremlin being burned alive by the sunlight.

@MacAnnabella

Canadians are not always nice, especially if your son pisses on their snowman.

@MacAnnabella

My friend’s offering to pay for a trip to NY to be her +1 for a wedding.

She’s probably going to drug me & sell my organs. *agrees to go 🙂

@MacAnnabella

Passive aggressive has never been my thing, I prefer chasing you with a chainsaw.

@MacAnnabella

“That wasn’t chicken in the Chow Mein”

I’d make a great Fortune Cookie writer.

@MacAnnabella

I don’t want to hear about any moonlit romantic walks on the beach…unless there’s a clown with a wooden club chasing you.

@MacAnnabella

“You’re prettier than I remember, you were SO FAT the last time I saw you!”

TY Uncle Bob, I was 8months pregnant. *spits in his pumpkin pie

@MacAnnabella

Me: “Gee Thanks for spilling Cheerios all over the floor.”

3yo: “You’re welcome Mom, look at this!”*scatters more on floor

I deserve that.

@MacAnnabella

People that proudly carry their yoga mats around town…

I get it. I carry my Burrito around with that same pride.

@MacAnnabella

The next time someone describes me as feisty, I’m going to stand in front of them and air punch rapidly like Scrappy Doo.