This meeting could have been a pajama party.
gonna boost my morale by cracking jokes in front of my juniors
Therapist: what do we do when we are angry?
Me: we yell at people and then apologise later
Therapist: what do you need me for?
A holiday of 20 days, 6 countries and the first thing my kid says after being back is “ah I have missed my own toilet”.
Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?
“What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?”
I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.
Me: oh and I forgot to tell you…
My kid to his friend: you go on ahead, this is going to take a while
I have a magnetic* personality
*Clingy and obsessive.
If Dean is Dean then why is Sean Shawn?
My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.
Me: You said you wouldn’t dream of disturbing me
my kid: Yeah, but this isn’t a dream
Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.
My kid: mumma where are you going?
Me: I’m going to meet my really old friends
My kid: you mean friends your age?
Me: ‘really old’ meaning from long ago
My kid: so same
My therapist: oh my socks are loose
Me:
Me: are you feeling shrinky?