Where do surfers learn to surf?
At boarding school.
How do you row a canoe filled with puppies?
Bring out the doggy paddle
I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
What happens when you eat too many spaghettiOs?
You have a vowel movement.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
What did the llama say to his date?
“Want to go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch.”
As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field. But hay, it’s in my jeans.
What do you call a moose with no name?
Anonymoose.
Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
To get another rib.
Why should you never brush your teeth with your left hand?
Because a toothbrush works better.
I just wish my ex husband could look down from Heaven and see me now. But no, he’s still alive.
Chinese food – $25
Delivery fee – $3.99
Realizing they forgot a container – riceless
Why is “you’re a peach” a compliment but “you’re bananas” is an insult? Why do we allow such fruit discrimination?