The guy I’ve been paying to pick up poop in my backyard just realized that I don’t own any animals.
I think I finally found your G-Spot. It’s been in my wallet the whole time.
I wanna party with whoever decided to ditch their shitstreaked underwear in the bushes at the McDonald’s drive thru.
If I ever go to prison,
I’m gonna make damn sure everyone knows my street name: Butthole Teeth.
I like to throw a fake punch at a hooker’s crotch. If she flinches, I know it’s a dude.