@MaraWilson Day ??? of quarantine: referred to the oven as “the cookiemaker”
@MaraWilson @MaraWilson Yelling at my cat to stop hissing at my other cat, for god’s sake, Milo, we’ve got a pandemic on
@MaraWilson I’m sure Leonardo DiCaprio‘s girlfriend is a wonderful person but I saw a headline that said she “has a message for her haters” and all I could think was “is it ‘I really need my .5 lead mechanical pencil back before Bio’”
@MaraWilson Yesterday I was feeling off but today I knocked over a small pitcher of soy milk in a diner trying to check my reflection because a really hot girl walked by so I guess I’m back
@MaraWilson 364 DAYS: Astrology’s silly and baseless and I’m not a conceited Leo at all
ON MY BIRTHDAY: It’s still baseless but please worship me today
@MaraWilson May my enemies all have to walk several miles in wet jeans
@MaraWilson I recently got invited to a party with lots of attractive people and learned that I am very good at being ignored by lots of attractive people
@MaraWilson ME: I know a good amount of things
CROSSWORD PUZZLES: lol
@MaraWilson I get all snooty about Great British Bake Off contestants doing things wrong like two years ago I wasn’t googling “what is shoe pastry”
@MaraWilson How confused about the world are you right now, on a scale of 0 to “trying to figure out a friend’s shower”