@Mardigroan

Once new outdoor seating is installed here it’s over for you benches!

@Mardigroan

Other Whole Foods customer: In this light I can’t make out the color of this cheese. What color is this? I want something to serve with figs.

Lionel Richie: Yellow. Is it brie you’re looking for?

@Mardigroan

Pizza won’t solve your problems but you gotta try something.

@Mardigroan

With regard to that five second rule – do they have to be consecutive seconds?

@Mardigroan

Stopped in a country store yesterday and they were not selling any countries. 0 out of 10. Would not recommend.

@Mardigroan

Genie: You have three wishes.

Me: First, I would like a time machine.

*travels back in time a few minutes now owning a time machine*

Genie: You have three wishes.

@Mardigroan

I was thinking about how the cat seems to spend nearly all day in my bed. Maybe from her perspective it’s her bed and I just take the night shift.

@Mardigroan

If you don’t know the right way to bend your knees and lower yourself for exercise purposes then you don’t know squat.

@Mardigroan

This poison ivy bread is not from a mix it was made from scratch.