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@Mardigroan : I accidentally ate the sticker on an apple. The scan code is inside me and there's now a beep every time I check out at the grocery store.
@Mardigroan: *opens fridge door, looking for friends *
@Mardigroan: Microwave safe? It doesn't seem like a sensible place to keep your valuables.
@Mardigroan: You know those books that sit there unread on your night stand? Take them with you on vacation so they can remain unread in a sunny locale.
@Mardigroan: You're right autocorrect. Much is gracias.
@Mardigroan: I asked my doctor if this heavily advertised, extremely ineffective medicine with many frightening side effects might be right for me.
@Mardigroan: No Kevin, a carburetor is not someone who ate a lot of carbs.
@Mardigroan: Popeye was heart healthy because he liked to eat spinach and Olive Oil.
@Mardigroan: Nature abhors a vacuum. And dogs. Dogs also abhor a vacuum.
@Mardigroan: Teacher: Write what you know.
Student: *writes "what you know."*