@MarieLoerzel

I’m like a semicolon; most people don’t know what to do with me.

@MarieLoerzel

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who’s not on the keto diet and that makes me so happy.

@MarieLoerzel

You’re either passionately pro or anti-cilantro, there is no middle ground.

@MarieLoerzel

If you could only see yourself through my eyes, then you’d see how blurry you really are.

@MarieLoerzel

My daughter has fallen in with the wrong crowd at school and likes country music now.

@MarieLoerzel

Sorry, I called you by accident. I was actually just trying to delete your number from my phone.