by not dating me, you are tragically missing out on me saying “have you seen this tik tok” every 20 minutes until you die
been making coffee at home instead of getting starbucks for two months which according to economists should’ve made me a billionaire by now so what is happening
alexa has taken my entire family hostage and won’t unlock any of our doors or turn on our lights until we buy a carton of tide detergent pods on amazon