If someone stands you up and doesn’t call, stay positive. They could be dead.
Friend just told me she got a hair trim for $80. Told her my dog groomer would’ve bathed her, clipped nails & emptied anal glands for less.
Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant – you can only hide it for so long.
Daughter announced there will be rain for Thanksgiving. We usually have turkey but with her cooking skills rain will taste better.
Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart.
Unscramble: pnise
If you got spine, you are correct. The rest of you have been on twitter too long.