@MeetYourDaddy

I told my DAD to embrace his mistakes. he cried. then he hugged My brother & me.

@MeetYourDaddy

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap 8 people at once.

@MeetYourDaddy

WHY IS THAT COTTON CANDY TALKING?!

“Grandma, that’s Niki Minaj.”

@MeetYourDaddy

Forget waterboarding. You want confessions? Lock the guy in a room with a laptop, a Twitter account and a bottle of whiskey.