I told my DAD to embrace his mistakes. he cried. then he hugged My brother & me.
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap 8 people at once.
WHY IS THAT COTTON CANDY TALKING?!
“Grandma, that’s Niki Minaj.”
Forget waterboarding. You want confessions? Lock the guy in a room with a laptop, a Twitter account and a bottle of whiskey.