My insurance agent just told me that I’m “high risk” to insure on account of me getting stuck in dryers on a regular basis
Imagine going on a date with someone holding a fish in their dating profile picture and when you get to the restaurant it’s just a salmon sitting there waiting
Good morning you can pee in a cup anytime, not just at the doctors office
When he asks for feet pics
My gyno has to use a car jack instead of a speculum
Imagine if batteries screamed in agony when they started to die
Cartoons falsely taught me to expect encountering an unimaginable amount of anvils in my day to day life
Being in my mid 30s is just constantly worrying that today is the day I get REALLY into model train sets
Why is no one talking about how hamsters taste NOTHING like ham?!