Like many people of my generation I was brought up to live my life believing in the virtue of delayed gratification.
I’m now in my 60s and it’s too soon to say whether it was worth it.
“And what is it about this job that appeals to you?”
“Well, I can fit it in around my lifestyle. Also being able to pardon myself for the crimes I’ve committed”
I have a cartoon in the current Private Eye
Creepy-crawlies
No, I haven’t seen any dogs
I’m wearing the tie I got married in more than 20 years ago and I don’t want to brag but… it still fits.
Covert ops
Just caught a glimpse of myself in a shop window and realised I’ve got my trousers on upside down 🤦🏻♂️
“Let them fake cake”
Marie Internette
“Doctor, doctor, I think I’m turning into a terrible pushy parent”
“Daddy, why do you keep calling me ‘doctor’?”
I don’t think this is talked about enough but Airbnbs have led to there being too many cushions in the world.
Venn
If snakes were wide
If a snake ate a cake
[Ancient Roman to little girl]
“So, what’s your name?”
“Ivy”
“And how old are you?”
“Same”