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Page of MrGeorgeWallace's best tweets

@MrGeorgeWallace : My cousin Tay Tay vaped once at a party and she went on to steal hundreds of dollars in clothing from various stores we don't know if it's related but you can never be too careful

@MrGeorgeWallace: Shout out to that 18-year-old bottle of hydrogen peroxide in your medicine cabinet.

@MrGeorgeWallace: Just havin' brunch on my balcony, shootin' down drones. They're gettin' crafty with these drones. The last one looked a lot like a bird. They all did actually. Squawkin' and whatnot, feathers flyin' everywhere. Nice try, drones.

@MrGeorgeWallace: You only hear about careless whispers. Shout out to all the very careful whispers, where the person really thought about the ramifications before they whispered and whatnot.

@MrGeorgeWallace: I wanna congratulate Disney on outbidding me for Fox. I realize now that my offer, $13,000 and an IOU for $81-billion scrawled on a Arby's bag in crayon, was unrealistic and whatnot.

@MrGeorgeWallace: I was fightin' this daylight savings shit but this morning I planted twelve acres of soybeans and fed the cows. Didn't even know I had cows but there they were.

@MrGeorgeWallace: Just sayin' witchdoctors are gonna have to pick a side when the shit goes down between witches and doctors.

@MrGeorgeWallace: Tried to back up today in a car without a rear facing camera. I killed seven pedestrians and three dogs.

@MrGeorgeWallace: Baristas, stop paintin' pictures in my damn latte. I'm gonna drink that shit not frame it.

@MrGeorgeWallace: Shout out to the top 5 markets in the world, stock, super, Boston, flea and this little piggy went to.