Apparently you’re not supposed to tell “That’s what she said jokes” during the Board meeting because it’s “inappropriate”
*offers Batman cough drops*
Truthful Tuesday: If a rapper raps about how much money he has then I download his music for free.
I dont’t want to die a virgin because that means I’ll have to have sex with terrorists.
I love how girls say that they like a guy with a sense of humour and yet you’ll never find a poster of Mr Bean on their wall.
Me: Hello, is it me you’re looking for?
Her: no
Me: *dials another number* Hello, is it me you’re looking for?
Apparently saying, “You mad, bro?” is frowned upon if you work in customer service.
This alphabet soup that I spilled on the floor is still more coherent than most Pitbull lyrics.