Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of NYorNothing's best tweets

@NYorNothing : Don’t be sad about being single on Valentine’s Day, think of all the ppl in relationships that don’t know they’re also single

@NYorNothing: I hate to say I’m better than u but... I can name all the Ninja Turtles & tell u their weapon & bandana color

@NYorNothing: Sometimes I toast to world peace, but secretly, I just want restaurants to stop serving frozen butter with bread

@NYorNothing: Sex is like pizza, there’s NO reason it should ever involve vegetables

@NYorNothing: I’m happy my date didn’t snoop in my medicine cabinet but sad I spent an hour setting up 40 ping pong balls in there for nothing

@NYorNothing: Him: Are u free later?
Me: No I’m expensive all the time

@NYorNothing: My ex texted me today to tell me he has not one, but two dates this week. Anyone else have useless information I don’t care about to confess?

@NYorNothing: Me: We should set up a play date
Hot dad at park: You have a kid?
Me: No, I said WE should