@NakedHangover

What I learned in college:

1. Water bottles are a great way to hide vodka.

2. When your thirsty in the morning you will regret #1.

@NakedHangover

I’m not saying delivering a baby is easy, but I’m pretty sure all I need is a box, some tape, and a stamp.

@NakedHangover

Trojan should be sponsoring Teen Mom. That show is the best advertisement for why you should always wear condoms.

@NakedHangover

Yelling “shotgun” when getting in a car means a seat in the front. Yelling it before getting on a plane means a seat in the TSA office.

@NakedHangover

If it’s true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?