Screw hybrid cars! We should all be driving buses! No clue what their fuel consumption is but I know I’ve never seen a bus at a gas station.
It’s Facebook’s 10th birthday today. Let’s all click “Maybe” on the event invite and then not show up.
Lame! I was tricked into watching PS, I Love You! It’s definitely NOT about a guy that marries his PlayStation.
We can’t deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
Just so we’re all clear: NASA is getting a direct feed from a robot on Mars, but I still can’t make a cell phone call from my basement.
I’m a lot like a wild Pokémon in the bedroom. I only know four moves and I come out of nowhere.
I bet the first guy to pee on someone’s jellyfish sting was NOT trying to help them.
I named my WiFi after my last girlfriend because it’s never fully connected with me. And also because I caught my neighbour using it.
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except for one. He’s never gonna give you Up.
Every Red Hot Chili Peppers song has a part where it sounds like they’re trying to guess words for a crossword puzzle.
It’s never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she’s on a whole other level.
My favourite part about playing video games is probably thwarting evil. You never get to thwart anything in real life. I like to thwart.
I just got off the phone with God. He’s pretty bummed out. Poor guy has a huge crush on an atheist, but she doesn’t even know he exists.