@One2thTEXAN

*walks up to cute teller at bank*

Me: you wanna grab lunch some time?

T: sir, I’ve seen your balance.

M: yea, I was hoping you’d buy.

@One2thTEXAN

When I see couples madly in love, I just assume they met yesterday.

@One2thTEXAN

My signature move, is pulling on a push only door, when attempting to get it for a woman.