I just smoked the fattest blunt.. And now my refrigerator is nervous!
The water drought in California is so bad, that someone broke into my cousins house and stole his waterbed.
Girl: So, how many inches is it?
Pat: How many inches is what?
G: You know..
P: Uhhh, about 200 dollars long.
G: OMG, It’s so big!
Dr: You have walking pneumonia.
Me: That’s impossible.
Dr: Wha..
Me: I’ve never walked a day in my life.
BREAKING NEWS: Due to the horrible conditions at Sochi, the Olympics have been moved to a much safer place.. Chernobyl.
Joined Match.com… And all I got was a lit cigarette
My favorite superheros are.. Baskin and Robbin!