From the videos I’ve seen lately, I only need a few simple steps to renovate my kitchen:
Step 1. Come into a large inheritance
I don’t want to be a boss babe. I want to be the old groundskeeper who warns guests there’s something terribly wrong with the estate then leaves in a hurry before sundown.
If one more teenager calls me ‘mam,’ I’m gonna
…probably let them carry my groceries because I’m old and life’s hard.
Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.
The great thing about having four kids is having four people to watch me bring in the groceries all by myself.
I’ve gotten to the point in my parenting career where I don’t just vacuum up Legos, I laugh while I do it.
Parenting is having your kids reject everything you cook, and then watching the 2yo eat a dog treat and ask for another.
I’m never a more ineffective parent than when I accidentally make threats that rhyme.
Way back when, I thought technology would look more like flying cars and less like me yelling “The laptop’s not a touch screen,” at my kids.
90% of being a parent is shouting, “Remember to flush the toilet.” The other 10% is flushing the toilet for everyone.