I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.
I’ve purchased a longer telephone cord so that I can remain on Neighborhood Watch and still talk to Fran.
The outburst I had at JoAnn’s Fabrics is not reflective of who I am.
I would like to see “artificial intelligence” assemble this tuna melt.
The holiday season is fast approaching. Let’s celebrate with the Happy Triangle Man. 💩
A thief has come into my home, and taken all but one of my sticks of mozzarella cheese. Everyone, lock your doors!
I keep a set of 5 airtight canisters on my kitchen counter:
Flour, sugar, coffee, tea, rage.
You didn’t hear this from me, but Helen has an overdue library book.
My nephew Lyle just explained to me the “F” in “F Bomb” stands for “friendship.”
F Bombs for everyone! 😃
I can’t find that mandolin show anywhere in the TV guide.
Mildred’s cat, Mildred, is missing.
On a related note, Mildred named her cat Mildred.
Which is probably why the cat left in the first place.
I have no idea who these famous people are. We need to go back to three channels.
Social distancing requires a good supply of air horns.
I had an unsettling dream. Someone came into my house and placed my Precious Moments figurines in compromising positions.
If Barb wears leopard print to another funeral, I’m buying a dart gun.