Don’t go around saying you hate all people. Attractive people who have a lot of money are really lovable.
I let my hair dry naturally after swimming in the ocean and now I’m the star of a Whitesnake video
I just cleaned out the change at the bottom of my purse and now I have an extra $17,000.
I’m always here for you unless someone better looking needs me
Don’t talk to me until after I’ve had my breakfast beer
This guy keeps buying me drinks and talking to me as if I’ll go home with him just because we’re married
Me: Yay! No more periods!
Menopause: Wait, here’s a beard.
My daughter forgot to bring her lunch to school today. It was delicious.
I’ve always taught my children that no matter what race or religion, all good looking people deserve respect.