handing out tuna steaks for trick or treat
JK it’s spam
my youngest started kindergarten today and I cried but mostly for his teachers
yes, those are my real potatoes.
if real babies started to emerge from cabbage patches I don’t believe we’d be so eager to adopt them
cause that’s creepy AF
I worked at Subway many years ago and one night a lady brought in her own cheese for me to use on her sub
I don’t work for the health department so I did it anyway
what kind of monster rides a horse through a desert and doesn’t have the decency to give the horse a name
When my husband and I first moved in together we lived in a shady part of town. My dad told us we would be probably get robbed. The worst thing that happened was our neighbors having sex directly across from our balcony with the window and curtains open.
when I was your age we had to wait 10 minutes to log into the internet
and we liked it
Christmas tree still up?
that’s a cat tree now.
Problem solved.
I love when kids say moo cow cause what other kinds of cows are there besides mooing ones?
ruin Thanksgiving for everyone with a detailed description of how you prepared the turkey
thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess
I don’t have an alarm clock, I have cats
may I borrow your hand mixer? I found a pumpkin carving hack that will destroy mine.