Oh yeah, shit’s about to get real, I say, as I seductively unbutton my pants…..
to make room for this next bite of pie.
You: Sitting down to eat
Me: *hovering* Sooo…are you gonna finish that?
If you work in an office trust that you have a nickname.
Everyone has a nickname.
If you don’t know yours, rest assured that it’s not very flattering.
Just ask Midlife crisis Matt over there.
The level of giddiness I experience when someone I hate says something stupid in front of an audience is a tiny bit embarrassing.
If your bio is chock full of emojis, I like to assume you’re too stupid to form complete sentences.