My granddaughter told me that her boss wanted her to sign up for a 401k but she told him that there was no way she could run that far.
Doctor’s visit today. They gave me a cute little light blue paper gown and I froze to death…
Hey everyone, power is back after a week of Groundhog Day! I am so happy I don’t know whether to shit or go blind. I don’t have a clue what that means but Grandma used to say it!
I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too…when I was alive.
Took the man to get his hearing aids fixed today. Still deciding if it was a smart move. Don’t touch my radio.
I was riding my bike this morning and a guy yelled “Cow” at me. I turned and gave him the finger…and ran straight into the cow.
Officer: You were speeding.
Me: I am trying to keep up with traffic.
O: There Is no traffic.
M: I am really far behind.