@Rich_McCarthy

Honestly son, that nightlight just makes it easier for the monsters to find you.

@Rich_McCarthy

Just found all my fan letters to Wolverine my wife “promised” she mailed stuffed behind the couch. I’m livid.

@Rich_McCarthy

*Salesman smashes through window into living room* Evening, folks. Are you in the market for a new window?

@Rich_McCarthy

Check for bed bugs by yelling “Gee, I’m so happy there are no bed bugs here!”, and if you hear faint giggling, set the bed on fire.

@Rich_McCarthy

Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books.

@Rich_McCarthy

Going through the dealership lot with the salesman, pointing at every car and asking, “what kinda robot does that one turn into?”