Honestly son, that nightlight just makes it easier for the monsters to find you.
Just found all my fan letters to Wolverine my wife “promised” she mailed stuffed behind the couch. I’m livid.
*Salesman smashes through window into living room* Evening, folks. Are you in the market for a new window?
Check for bed bugs by yelling “Gee, I’m so happy there are no bed bugs here!”, and if you hear faint giggling, set the bed on fire.
Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books.
Going through the dealership lot with the salesman, pointing at every car and asking, “what kinda robot does that one turn into?”