found a twenty in my purse then channeled jesus and turned it into wine at the nearest liquor store.
Dolly Parton not making lollipops in the shape of her head and calling them Dollipops is unfortunate.
wanna bet Tom Hanks is kinda bitter about how easily Moana got over that break in the waves.
the dog is mad at me bc i wouldn’t let him eat sriracha off the ground and my feelings are hurt so no i don’t want children.
my serotonin level is perusing other interests it seems.
ex: i wish you well
me: i hope you fall into one
Date: Are you winking or blinking?
Cyclops: I do not know.
do my glasses go over or under a balaclava i want to rob this bank just right.
fruit vendors are just vegan butchers.
I couldn’t take Breaking Bad seriously bc Walter White looked like Ned Flanders.