@RowdyBowden

In high school, I was voted Most Likely To Keep Bringing Up Past Achievements.

@RowdyBowden

“Pardon me. Might I murder you with my musket? Yes? Excellent news, kind sir!” – The Very Civil War

@RowdyBowden

We’re gathered here today to mourn the loss of Derek. His last words were “Watch me try and keep my eyes open while sneezing!”

@RowdyBowden

Raggedy Andy knew he was becoming a man when he noticed yarn where there wasn’t yarn before.

@RowdyBowden

Fifth Third Bank? I don’t think you understand how to number things, which is something I generally look for in a bank.

@RowdyBowden

Headed to the gym. Gonna work on my diptroids. My gluteralids. My quadrapeps. Maybe my trapaceptals. Definitely my vocabulary.

@RowdyBowden

Bouncy balls are super fun if you love to play with something very briefly, then spend 45 minutes looking for it in a shrub.