Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@Sanbel11 : I'm holding my head high and my middle finger a bit higher.
@Sanbel11: BOB: My name spelled backwards is the same.
DAVE: Hahaha I’d be Evad.
LANA: Guys, can we play different game?
@Sanbel11: [job interview for psychic]
INTERVIEWER: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
ME: Well played.
@Sanbel11: I had two naps today but every time I wake up I'm still at work.
@Sanbel11: "Kids, are you asleep?"
*turns off the wifi*
@Sanbel11: I never understood why chefs wear white.
I go in the kitchen to get a glass of water and come back with five stains on my shirt.
@Sanbel11: I just bought a beautiful 18th century bowl.
It even has a little sign on the bottom that says dishwasher safe.
@Sanbel11: *goes shopping without makeup and a hair in the messy bun*
"Hi everybody I ever met since 1999"
@Sanbel11: Him: Baby are you mad?
@Sanbel11: "Baby, I'm in the bedroom waiting for you"
Now I got your attention, let me show you a proper way to make the bed.