Why did they call it Social Anxiety and not Hey Fever
keep your Glenns Close and your Glennemies Closer
THEM: are you willing to take a drug test
ME: my name isn’t test but I’m down
what is cheese if not milk persevering
I’m just a MAN standing in front of a DOOR because I thought it was AUTOMATIC
ME: I declare bankruptcy
CUSTOMS OFFICER: No just like stuff you bought in Mexico
ME: Im a secret agent
THEM: With like the FBI
ME: Idk its a secret
GOD: Sharp pincers
CRAB: Thats dope
GOD: Hard shell
CRAB: Hell ya
GOD: Delicious legs lmao
CRAB: Wtf
Pepper spray but with glitter in it lol
GOD: A snake that is also a cat lol
ANGEL: What
GOD: Cat snake lmao
“Thats an exercise in futility” OK great so Im exercising
ME: Ha ha bro why is your wife named Purse Phone?
HADES: That isnt… thats not how you say it
ME: I can’t believe it’s not butter
FRIEND: This is a shoe
ME: Omg I can’t believe it
ME: I wish dogs could talk but they all have Scottish accents lol
GENIE: Umm, alright then, second wish?
ME: I wish cats could talk but they all have Italian accents lmao
G: Most people wish for world peace or money
ME: I wish you weren’t so judgemental
G: Wow Max great work