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Page of Sarcasmo718's best tweets

@Sarcasmo718 : Taking your shirt off when fighting is a great way to tell the cops who to arrest.

@Sarcasmo718: The guy I just cut off thinks he's gonna destroy my car with high beams.

@Sarcasmo718: <Tries to plow the road>

Road: I have a boyfriend.

@Sarcasmo718: The Taliban heavily overestimates the need for monkey-bar training.

@Sarcasmo718: Someone needs to tell drug sniffing dogs about the whole "man's best friend" thing.

@Sarcasmo718: Nothing says "I'm unemployed" like wishing for snow on Facebook.

@Sarcasmo718: I'll buy the magic mushrooms, fireballs and flying raccoons but a Princess dating an Italian plumber?

@Sarcasmo718: C'mon guys, just 50 more likes and her father will love her.

@Sarcasmo718: My grandma keeps talking about her monthly checks, prescription drugs and how much she loves Miami. I think she's a rapper.