Hubby installed a secondary rain drop shower head so now we have 2 modes.
1) Acupuncturist
2) Drowning
Husband: *belches
Me: Exactly!
I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.
Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.
Icarus loved hot wings.
My cat is like a shitty Roomba that picks up all the dirt off the floor, but then just deposits it onto the carpet.
I don’t know why my co-workers looked so grossed out. All I said was, “It’s time to make like a tampon and get out of this bloody hole.”
When I was 20 my hairdresser pointed out my first gray hair.
It’s weird how she was never seen or heard from again.
OK hear me out, A corn dog except it’s just a hotdog on a stick covered in onion rings.