I just hit my toe and it was at that moment I realized I spoke 4 different languages
I’ll call it a smartphone the day I yell “where’s my smartphone?” And it yells
” Down here in the couch cushions”
Meet coffee….
This was my hot friend I was telling you about.
Cleaning kitchen knives
Thought of you
I pretend to be asleep then I actually fell asleep.
Now I’ll pretend I’m skinny.
I think this should do it.
My boss told me I scare and intimidate people including my co-workers
so I challenged him to a staredown.
I question the people that blow their nose in a tissue and then look to see what comes out.
Were they really expecting gold or something?
Getting older is just one body part after another saying.
“Ha ha. you think that’s bad?
Watch this.”
Cop pulled me over and said ” Papers?”
I said ” scissors” and drove off