When a cop talks to you about Miranda, he’s not inviting you for a three-way… I know this now.
When a cop gently helps you in his car, promises you an overnighter & talks about bonding, he isn’t taking you on a date… I know this now.
Sad? Confused? There’s a nap for that.
Stories about panicked mothers lifting cars off their trapped babies… but it’s my wife hauling out 10 cases of wine during a house fire.
An erotic footjob under a restaurant table can go bad real fast
when your feet miss their mark…just ask my father-in-law.
“Lethal Weapon” is my favorite movie about how to fix a dislocated shoulder.
Don’t expect a “bless you” after you sprayed me down with your sneeze.
When a cop tells you to “spread ’em” he is not flirting. I know this now.
Never have I ever… rushed out of my house pretending I had to be somewhere & drove around neighborhood to get somebody to leave.