@Shwetangles

She was rare. Like a rap collab in a pop song that made sense.

@Shwetangles

Rock bottom implies the existence of paper bottom and scissors bottom.

@Shwetangles

It’s called a flat stomach in UK but an apartment stomach in America.

@Shwetangles

While the Americans are in a food coma, we should switch Twitter and Facebook displays around. Give their hearts a jumpstart.

@Shwetangles

Hackers in movies think they’re so cool they can get any password in five mins flat. Well so can I. Just that it’s for my own accounts.

@Shwetangles

If loss of appetite is a symptom, I think most of us are safe.

@Shwetangles

Why didn’t I marry a hairdresser or a baker. I did not think this through.