I have decided to switch to a spite-based diet
Me *with my dying breath*: Tell my wife I like like her
The fact that the Mayans invented chocolate just goes to show what a civilization can achieve if they are willing to do human sacrifice
They say dress for the job you want, so here I am, causally dressed as the moon
Got thrown out of another poetry reading for shouting “oooh naughty” every time someone used a metaphor for sex