I call my wife “Wordle”
She keeps me guessing.
I’m seldom right.
And it’s a daily occurrence.
An apostrophe is just a comma
trying to move up in the world.
Mimes are known to commit
unspeakable acts.
My mother always cooked with wine
while I was growing up back home.Occasionally she would even add
some to whatever she was cooking.
“Invisible Woman” just followed me.
I did not see that coming.
Imagine the conversations between
the fly on the wall and the elephant
in the room after everyone leaves.
(Vegan zombie)
“Mmmm ….. grains”
You don’t know what you’ve got
until it’s gone.( *Runs out of toilet paper* )
Pancakes are just waffles that
decided to go off the grid.
Who called it a henhouse attendant …
and not a chicken tender ?
My new dry-erase whiteboard can be
summed up in one word : “remarkable”
Excessive use of commas is a serious
crime which may result in a long sentence.
“What a tangled web we weave”
-Earbuds
62% of marriage conversation is just
spouses stating “I never said that.”
PETA wants us to stop using animal slogans
such as “bring home the bacon”They’d have us say “bring home the bagels”
That suggestion has holes in it.