@SuperTeeWhy

[Me, getting hauled out of a bank vault with 1,000 chameleons stapled around my body]

“Damn”

@SuperTeeWhy

[Bar]
“Two long necks please”

Giraffe in the back: Wow. Did he just-

Giraffe’s wife: Cliff, he didn’t mean anything by it please sit down

@SuperTeeWhy

[School]
Teacher: What’s ur biggst fear?

Child1: Ghosts!
Child2: Dogs!
Child3: That humanity’s core reaction to misunderstanding is anger

@SuperTeeWhy

Ouija board just told me it’s still waiting on a grandbaby and I was like lol Mom when did you die

@SuperTeeWhy

[A Dad about to give the birds & the bees talk]

“Son, when-”

*Watches son try to poke a Capri Sun for 35 minutes*

“Know what, we’re good”

@SuperTeeWhy

Jaws (2015):
“(cell phone) Hi Coast Guard, yeah a shark is banging my boat oh you’re on your way great thanks”