@SveldtSmelt

Talking to women is a lot like origami. I don’t know where to start and I always end up screaming.

@SveldtSmelt

If the world was made of LSD, I’d learn to walk on my tongue.

@SveldtSmelt

I like to eat a handful of paperclips right before I walk through a metal detector cuz I got all day, pal.

@SveldtSmelt

I found where my mom hid the scissors, so everyone in my house woke up with a new haircut this morning.