Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@SwirlySkittles : Me: These five words I swear to you, when you breathe I want-
Him: Stop singing to the mustard
Me: *stands up and closes fridge* Whatever.
@SwirlySkittles: Playing Tubular Bells to end the baptism wasn't quite the closing my aunt was looking for but in my defense it did clear out the church.
@SwirlySkittles: Don't touch my nutella with your banana.
@SwirlySkittles: Easiest and quickest way to get me to shut up, open my mouth and get on my knees is to simply make it rain Skittles.
@SwirlySkittles: The rain is pounding so hard I'm kind of jealous.