Always the best looking one in the room.
**Restroom stall whatever
When I tell people I don’t speak English to get out of a conversation I randomly throw the word hemorrhoid just to bring it home
Don’t mean to brag but I can turn a pair of fat pants into skinny jeans in like 3.5 months
When I was younger I wanted to rule the world. Now I just want to spell words close enough that autocorrect can figure out what I’m saying