@ThaJawn: What if the washer has been stealing the socks and we have just been blaming the dryer?
@ThaJawn: David Attenborough: The hippos have patiently surrounded the unsuspecting white marbles
@ThaJawn: Dog: I don't get it
Me: What don't you get?
Dog: Just go over it again
Me: This is MY food and that is YOUR food
Dog: *tilts head* What?
@ThaJawn: Wife: Stop acting like a child!
Me: *hiding in clothing rack*
I WANT TO GO HOME!
@ThaJawn: Doctor: *looking at chart* You need to go for walks more
Doctor: *still looking at chart* and buy more treats
Doctor: *still looking at chart* and leave the toilet seat up
Me: Wait! You're my dog in a lab coat!
@ThaJawn: Cop: Second time this week
Me: I thought I could be brave
C: Yeah I know, this slide is pretty high for you, now just take my hand
@ThaJawn: Kangaroo: *takes baby out of pouch
Me: *takes chapstick out of fanny pack
**simultaneous nods of respect**